Amidst the clutter and madness of my new room I came across an old copy of an Ontarion pamphlet that had a spoof article in it entitled Dr. Philbuster. I remember Clare and I laughing absolutely to death while reading it. Here is an excerpt:

Q: Do you have any advice on how to stop the rumour mill in the workplace? I work in a student newspaper at my university that employs people of a variety of ages. The younger employees start rumours about the older managers, which cause huge problems. Right now, I feel like I'm the target of these rumours. I love my job so what should I do?
A: A rumour mill could be the ultimate bane of any workplace existence because unlike a mill, it doesn't really produce anything positive like wheat or corn. Where is this rumour mill you speak of? Does it sit right near your cubicle? There are two major area I want you to address:
- Controlling the rumour mill
- Reacting to the rumour mill
Try to turn off the rumour mill by switching some sort of button on the back of the mill. Also, you're in a position to do some damage control, so remember to take your job seriously and not wait for the next opportunity to react. Trying to ignore the noise coming from the mill might make you go deaf.

Oh gosh, there is another one that's even funnier.

Q: My best friend of 10 years just decided to join the swim team. She worked really hard for 6 months to get into shape but I can't help but feel worried for her. During the past months she has been doing nothing but exercise. Some days she would run for 2 hours, then go swimming for another hour. I’m beginning to think she has made this goal into an obsession. How to I approach this subject without sounding jealous of her achievement?
A: Swimming can be a form of exercise that can be done outdoors and indoors, in both fresh and chlorinated water. The best part of swimming is that it's categorized as a professional sport and as a recreation that many families around the world like to participate in. Your best friend is in a crucial stage in her life, a stage that involves reaching her goals and swimming in chlorinated water. I'm not saying that the way to approach the subject is by sitting in the water; I'm saying that water is a wonderful place to view your own reflection. And when you finally see your own reflection then you'll see that your reflection is really just water and not your reflection at all.

Ha ha ha. I thought that was pretty funny. Anyway. On to boring life updates. I'm back in Guelph. And trying to sort through my stuff. It's fun though. Some good down time. And my father finally finished the bookcase he has been building me since I was eight. Yay! And it looks really nice. Lots of room for my books, which seem to encompass most of my material possessions.

Matt, Jon and I had coffee today. Well Matt and I had milkshakes, and Jon had coffee. It's nice to hear Matt's silly jokes and Jon's laugh. Makes me feel like I'm back home. They informed me that they actually read my blog and look forward to updates (that's why I keep mentioning their names *wink*). It appears I'm beginning to gather a bit of a following. Although I have yet to figure out why. It's just ranting and rambling.

* song of the moment: The Moody Blues - Emily's Song *